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In the Wink of The Mind’s Eye

Phases

Let's you and me extend ourselves into the night together
when the darkness comes down upon us.

like rodents scattered by the stench of death,

Let's shuffle through the back alleys
our stumbling, loud retreat from wild nights
Filled by abstract adventures we’ll barely remember,
Esoteric eccentricities we can’t wash away,
Tall tales, vibrant colors, haunted visions,
and cheap restaurants with flashy food.

The streets will wind before us
Like an ongoing fight with malicious thoughts
To make you ask yourself—

               Oh, but, don't bother with that
now...
                Let's just go before we lose our nerve.


coming out of the mist,
The twilight shadows dance around the twinkling evening shimmer,
reflected a moment in the sewer puddles,
Where you are almost captured for a moment.


But we laugh away the stars in your eyes.

Hand in hand, we break away,
Taunting the smoke that encircles our feet,
Clutching at our heels as we escape.

Leave the grasping tendrils to reach for us.
There will be another time for them to catch us.


There’s still time to ready yourself for first impressions;
Eons to destroy, moments to rebuild.
and the handiwork that almost feeds you... sometimes... maybe…
There is another time for that, too.
And for choices that bring us to every moment where we are;
For beginnings that herald in each new ending.

There’s time to be indecisive,
to take steps backward, to skip steps,
To tapdance, to saunter, to tiptoe, to run,
To flounder, to falter, to rest, to reroute...
growing older all the while.


Let’s get wrinkled and gray and fat together,
Long before the day’s cycles become so carefully measured.
The dirge of sorrow is farther down the road, I think,
And it can wait for us.

We don’t have to sing along with the band.
We don’t have to march beside the parade.

There are far more adventures for us to share now...
Wonders beyond anything we ever could have imagined;

Marvels that surpass our wildest dreams.


I have seen this all before...
and it has seen me too.
It has tried to hold me how it likes,
Though I have resisted.

But now, with you here, at my side,
Untouchable, invincible...
Together, we are forever.

Close your eyes and kiss me,
Sigh into the wind,
And let us soar to every corner of the universe.

This is our eternity.



LJ Idol | Season 9 • Week 11 - Topic: RECENCY BIAS
This post has been brought to you by an association with the online writing community forum, LJ Idol
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Comments

( 19 comments — Leave a comment )
bleodswean
Jun. 9th, 2014 10:23 pm (UTC)
*applauds wildly*
karmasoup
Jun. 9th, 2014 10:29 pm (UTC)
Aw... that's so sweet, thanks so much! *bows politely, blushing*
mamas_minion
Jun. 9th, 2014 11:46 pm (UTC)
This is a very beautiful piece, I love the way it flows and I love the imagery. I bow to your artistry.
karmasoup
Jun. 9th, 2014 11:50 pm (UTC)
Aw, shucks!

*Bats eyelashes*
lawchicky
Jun. 10th, 2014 04:13 pm (UTC)
Beautiful!
karmasoup
Jun. 10th, 2014 04:40 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much... I'm so happy this has been received so.
mac_arthur_park
Jun. 10th, 2014 06:12 pm (UTC)
LOVE this! So evocative.
karmasoup
Jun. 10th, 2014 06:26 pm (UTC)
Thanks! Very kind of you to say so; I'm glad you enjoyed it.
jem0000000
Jun. 11th, 2014 09:47 am (UTC)
Lovely and strangely haunted, at the same time. :)
karmasoup
Jun. 11th, 2014 05:39 pm (UTC)
You know, I suppose it is a bit haunting in a way... an unintentional side-effect, though often a result of the subject matter. I'm glad the lovely comes out, though. Thanks for checking in on your week off! :)
jem0000000
Jun. 14th, 2014 09:24 am (UTC)
It's all the darker imagery, I think -- I get the sense that they're (the "you and me") facing death, but it's okay because it's a while coming and they'll grow old together first. It's interesting to me that you chose rodents and sewage for comparisons -- it works here, but it gives the poem a sort of second dimension, words/love laid over a run-down sort of existence. I feel like I'm reading two or three poems all wrapped into one package. :)
i_17bingo
Jun. 11th, 2014 06:12 pm (UTC)
There’s still time to ready yourself for first impressions;
Eons to destroy, moments to rebuild.


I want to say more than "Wow," but I am at a loss. The love you feel for your partner is really overpowering. It's the kind of magic that bends physics. It means so much that you shout it to the world so often like this.
karmasoup
Jun. 11th, 2014 06:19 pm (UTC)
Thanks! This is more than a piece about the love I feel for him, though, certainly, the way I feel for him does color it. In truth, I'm just a once hopeless romantic with these days a much more positive outlook on the possibilities. I found love at 40 after being kissed by a ton of frogs, and sleeping with a few snakes... that's certainly worth singing about. But this is a piece about the power of love in general, and its ability to transcend both the fleeting pace of life, as well as the frightening, cold, empty space of death. I'm glad it sits well with you!
eternal_ot
Jun. 12th, 2014 07:09 am (UTC)
Wow..Beautiful...loved it! Summed it up pretty well..Good Job!
karmasoup
Jun. 12th, 2014 07:15 am (UTC)
Thank you kindly!
whipchick
Jun. 12th, 2014 01:01 pm (UTC)
Prufrock is one of my favorites, and it's neat to see your take on the structure! I like how you captured the sense of the original while also make the subject specific to you.
karmasoup
Jun. 12th, 2014 01:36 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I was starting to wonder if everyone was going to miss the Eliot homage, but I figured if anyone would catch it, it would be you. Poetry has always been my first language, and I've made of love of being able to dance in the rhythm of the greats, without having to sing exactly the same song. I use JAP here as the hallowed ground, the elephant graveyard upon which I set this foundation, and from there I took it where the spirit moved me. It is nice, though, to know that in my audience, there are those special few who will appreciate its ivory walls! :)
roina_arwen
Jun. 12th, 2014 11:07 pm (UTC)
Very nice - lovely descriptions!
karmasoup
Jun. 12th, 2014 11:43 pm (UTC)
Thanks! It's easy to come by lovely descriptions when that's the way you see the world.
( 19 comments — Leave a comment )