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The Same Thing We Do Every Night...

The Pitch

Is your goal in life to destroy the world?
Take over the planet?
Eliminate all humans with a cleft pallet
because you believe they are Emissaries for the Devil?


Yes of course it is!  And we can help!


Let’s face it… Image is Everything!
It doesn’t matter what type of Doomsday Dominator you are...

You might consider:


• Evil Genius   Evil Genius

Benevolent Dictator
  
Benevolent Dictator

• Dark Overlord           Dark Overlord

Apocalypse• Bringer of the Apocalypse

...among others, for example.

Whatever your stylized flavor of Doomsday Domination,
Let us help you get your message out in a way that makes sense.
Because really, what fun is destroying the world if no one knows why???



Get your own World Broadcast System
We know you have choices in your Domination plan suppliers.

When you let us help you, first we set you up with your own Doomsday Domination website with its own custom blog, so you can rant in text or on video about your arch nemesis, or the follies of letting toe lint go unpainted.  We give you the convenience of updating your blog yourself, from any remote connection with internet access, be it a secret jungle base, or your own private island with a satellite uplink.                       

                            Global Communications


Spread your Blog Like a Retro Virus

Next, we help you advertise your newly developed blog through a series of press releases, an adwords campaign, and our advanced SEO Process generated by our plutonium powered SEO machine.

Because, what good is ranting on a blog if no one sees it?

            
Henchblog


Devastate the Global Population with our Powerful Social Media Tools

Then we help you focus on your social media, we show you how to set up your Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, YouTube, google plus and LinkedIn accounts for maximum potential while linking them back to your Doomsday Domination Blog.
                           Planetary Network Takeover


Keep your future subjects in the Loop on your Plans so they can Worship your Genius!

We even will help you set up your End of the World e-newsletter where you can count down to the exact moment when all the world’s leaders will bow down to you and tell everyone on your newsletter how you are going to make that happen.  Don’t worry, telling them your plans won’t help them foil you, you are unstoppable!

Mad Scientist


Dominate from anywhere with Mobile Apps!

As a special bonus, we can also help you build the mobile apps you need to help your world domination, whether it be a remote death ray aiming app, or a viral maniacal laughter spreading app.

                                World of Social Media

Recruit Henchmen and Minions!

And don’t forget, you can’t take over the world without henchmen and minions.
Let us help you build recruiting pages to grow your armies!

                                                         

Henchmen lights


Our Guarantee:

Once you rule the world, if you feel that our systems were not instrumental in helping you get there, let us be first in line to be executed.  That’s right, shoot us first…

We insist!  Because we know you just won’t get there without us, we can be certain that once you do, you will love us for helping you TAKE OVER THE WORLD!

But, of course, even if you are 100% satisfied with our service, naturally, we understand you can't very well leave witnesses amongst those who knew you from the time before you became the Supreme Ruler, so, after you've taken out your enemies, let our final act of usefulness be to schedule our own execution! Let us be the first on the chopping block to help set the tone for your majestic reign, and allow us to set the event to take place in the most public manner possible, for everyone to see, so that the message will be clear to all. After all, if you'd do that to the folks who helped you on the way up, no one will ever question what you might do to those who don't fear you!

So feel free to enjoy you rise to power with our personal pledge and promise that no matter what the outcome, throughout the process, and even unto the end, we shall be eternally at your disposal. Literally.

                                 Stewie Likes You

Want more Doomsday Domination? Be sure to check out our ABOUT US page, and don’t forget to review our TESTIMONIALS from eager clients bent on global destruction. Just remember, when it comes to the Ultimate New Earthly Master, we understand there can be only one.  But, until that time, hey... it's anybody's game getting there.


LJ Idol | Season 9 • Week 12 - Topic: BARREL OF (FLYING) MONKEYS
This post has been brought to you by an association with the online writing community forum, LJ IDOL
If you have enjoyed this entry, please feel free to speak your piece, share the love, and pass it on...
                                              ...and thanks for stopping by.

Comments

( 17 comments — Leave a comment )
mac_arthur_park
Jun. 19th, 2014 07:20 pm (UTC)
Bwhahahahah!
karmasoup
Jun. 19th, 2014 07:43 pm (UTC)
Way to trust my f-list to keep up... you got the jump on me, I'm still in the process of pulling this together! Glad you're enjoying it so far, though!
ashgaelsonaria
Jun. 20th, 2014 05:52 pm (UTC)
Ahh, a service that is really useful. We hear at Insanity Labs must take time to reflect on the cost/effect ratio and get back to you once we have made a dicision on this matter.
kagomeshuko
Jun. 21st, 2014 03:33 am (UTC)
I don't want to destroy the world! If I HAVE to destroy it, there better be a FANTASTIC, OUT-OF-THIS WORLD, MAKES PERFECT SENSE reason.

I don't think plutonium powered SEO machines will do much good unless the plutonium or machines have somehow become sentient and know how to formulate decent SEO content (freelance Internet writer here who has taken the time to learn what SEO is and how to work with it).
karmasoup
Jun. 22nd, 2014 07:07 am (UTC)
Fairly familiar with SEO myself... in fact, this material is writing sample designed to represent an example of vertical niche marketing, which is targeting one particular type of industry for an otherwise commodity product, in order to create a brand as the recognized expert in that field. These were the kinds of products put together by the software development company I helped to operate for the better part of 7 years up until a couple years ago. We thought if it was just going to be a mockup, we might as well make it cheesy, silly, and fun. I had a great time pulling this together. Thanks for reading.
jem0000000
Jun. 21st, 2014 01:57 pm (UTC)
Nice business model! Good luck with the clients. :)
karmasoup
Jun. 22nd, 2014 07:11 am (UTC)
Yeah, they might be a handful, eh? (Though, you can see what they've been saying about working with us HERE.)
dmousey
Jun. 21st, 2014 03:45 pm (UTC)
I've always loved the world of advertising and marketing! This was awesome. Can't wait to see how many of your target demographic apply for your services. ;)
karmasoup
Jun. 22nd, 2014 07:13 am (UTC)
No need to wait! Go see for yourself!.

Edited at 2014-06-22 07:13 am (UTC)
dreamsreflected
Jun. 23rd, 2014 01:54 am (UTC)
I would totally buy this if it were a late night informercial!
karmasoup
Jun. 23rd, 2014 10:55 pm (UTC)
Awesome! I shall now have to think about breaking into that arena to capture that demographic. Mwuahahahaha!!!

*wanders off to plot & plan, muttering under breath and laughing maniacally.
eternal_ot
Jun. 23rd, 2014 05:48 am (UTC)
*Chuckle*...:D..This was Awesome FUN; I bet hipsterthulhu should check it out..;) Good work there Kudos..I loved the added about us and testimonial makes it authentic..:D

Edited at 2014-06-23 05:50 am (UTC)
karmasoup
Jun. 23rd, 2014 10:56 pm (UTC)
Thanks... I really enjoyed pulling this together this week. :)
halfshellvenus
Jun. 23rd, 2014 06:06 am (UTC)
This was clever and really involved!

I loved the "Get your own World Broadcast System" and "Doomsday Apps," and of course I visited both the company's history and the 'Testimonials' pages.

So many satisfied customers! So many more fellow citizens to subjugate! \o/
karmasoup
Jun. 23rd, 2014 10:55 pm (UTC)
The world has no idea what's coming next, evil laugh, evil laugh!
mamas_minion
Jun. 24th, 2014 03:18 am (UTC)
Brilliant I especially love that Ronald Reagan was one of your past clients (it makes sense that he would be). I laughed all the way through this it was hilarious and extremely well written pure genius. (evil or otherwise! I should know I am after all a minion)
karmasoup
Jun. 24th, 2014 03:24 am (UTC)
I really wanted to put George W Bush, but decided good ol' Ronnie would be more humorous. Thanks for the inside industry support!
( 17 comments — Leave a comment )