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Portrait of A Moment's Journey

From Empty Gesture to Swollen Token...

So, I discovered yesterday afternoon, quite by accident, while driving home from an appointment, that the act of moaning actually enhances the orgasmic experience.

I know what you're thinking, and, no, I wasn't trying to get myself into a car wreck out of some compulsive kink.  It just happens that I'd consumed more than 48 ounces of hot Tea within that morning, and even though I'd been feeling like I'd already visited the restroom every 15 minutes within the last 2 hours, I still found myself at the mercy of this caffeinated diuretic.  It was only a 20 minute trip from the office I'd left to my home, and I had stopped into the facilities just before I left, so I had imagined I would be able to make it there without the incredible discomfort that I was experiencing just 3 miles from the house.  At one point, as I pulled up a bit too quickly to a stop sign, and the car jerked suddenly, I both heard and felt me release a rather dramatic gasp, from somewhere in the same place that gets hit when a roller coaster makes you scream. 

The most immediate conscious thought that fleetingly had the strength to overpower the urgent sense of tension in my bladder was twofold... One, Wow, that sounded incredibly like a noise of arousal (and, I would know... I've heard the sounds I make in that state! ;), and, Two, OMG, that FELT incredibly like the titillation of the heat of passion! 

And, yeah, I do get that there was a complication of factors in this inadvertent random human scientific experiment, in that, the pressure bearing down in the general region of my nethers contributed to the experience in some weird, mixed up, crossed wires kinda way... and I did remedy that aspect of the equation the moment I walked in the door, leaving a trail of professional business meeting accoutrement from our main entry to the throne room, where I finally broke the seal on the release valve, with a long sigh of relief.

I know a fair contingent of folks who live by the principal, "Fake it til you Make it."  I've never been too big into doing anything in my life that isn't completely genuine... it just doesn't feel right to me.  That, and, I guess I've never had too much trouble being authentically responsive when "making it."  But, this has me thinking... maybe next time I'm feeling amorous, I might try a little extra heavy breathing and see how it heightens the sensation.

But I thought about that moment again in the shower this morning as I reached for the netti pot.  The concept of daily use of a netti pot was first introduced to me by my housemate, who was turned onto it by his yogi.  He teaches a type of Pranayama, or Ultimate Breathing.  Prana is the Yogic word for the Breath of Life, and the ancient Vedas believed that trained breathing could help to relax, rejuvenate, exercise and invigorate the entire mind and body.  I thought about the simple jewels of worldly wisdom this father figure of a teacher has enriched our lives with over the years.  I remembered the few breathing sessions I'd encountered with him, and how they strongly stir up powerful emotions.  He on one occasion compared the results to be not unlike orgasmic convulsions.  I wondered if gasping for the breath of life while you are in the throws of an intimate rendezvous, isn't your body's way of getting your mind's attention.

I remembered when I first began using the netti pot, how odd it felt.  Shoving the hollow end of a genie lamp into your nose, to tilt your head sideways and let warm salt water run through your sinus cavities isn't exactly a practice that comes naturally or by instinct to most Westerners.  I think I laughed off the idea for a while, then gagged and choked the first few times I actually did get around to trying it.  My housemate assured me that I had to give it a chance to get used to it, but that in the long run, it would improve my breathing, my health, and my energy overall.  Now, three years later, I feel a sense of loss in my daily routine, and in my resulting activities, when I don't get a chance to pace through this particular morning ritual.  Funny how I got to that place from making a habit out of doing something I initially thought was silly.

After I was out of the shower and dressed, I walked past my housemate's room, and saw that he'd made his bed.  I remembered him mentioning to me yesterday that he'd intended to begin doing that as a regular pattern, through the gentle prodding of encouragement by his Yogic teacher, who believes that order in your surrounding environment helps to create order throughout your life.  Like the netti pot, I knew this was a chore he was not accustomed to at this stage, since it was the first time in three years I'd seen it done.  I was very proud of him for following through.

I reflected over how many things we tell ourselves to do for our own good, despite an inclination not to do them, and how we benefit from the results when we are able to put them into practice until they become second nature. 

I decided to take a cue from the symbols life had been throwing all around me, and set about bringing some order into our family's home environment, to add support to the first steps of the path my housemate had started down.  It's certainly not a regular routine for me, always with 48 things to do, and only time to get 7 of them done, but, it was a pleasure to do so today, to watch the backdrop of our dwelling improve, feeling good about the after effects of my efforts.  It even felt like it went quickly, and took very little time.  Somehow today, I managed to cross off everything on my list that could be done, slotted time aside for those things which didn't have pressing time deadlines, and still breathe a little easier about a great sense of accomplishment.

I wondered how many other habits I've been meaning to get into in my life I could make happen over time just by committing to continuing them when I don't feel like it.  I know I should drink at least 40 ounces of water a day (which would probably be a lot less painful than 48 ounces of hot tea).  I should walk the dog regularly.  I should call my mother more often.  I know these things don't become a part of my life because I snap my fingers and wave a magic wand.  I know it takes time to get to that level of daily devotion, but, that convention starts with one time, one day, making a decision to do something I don't really feel like doing.  A simple gesture, even if it's empty. 

Please. Thank you. Good Job. You look nice. I'm sorry. I love you. Maybe even when these words feel like empty gestures to us, they have a deeper meaning to whomever we share them with.  We learn this from a very young age, and we act upon these empty gestures throughout our lives, for the benefit of others.  But, maybe we forget to act upon the same level of thoughtfulness for our own well being.  Maybe, though, the promise we don't keep to ourselves is the worst one to break.  But we could never uphold our own personal pledges if we didn't agree everyday to commit one more empty gesture in a long string of insincere actions.  After all, even genuine sincerity has to begin with nothing at some point.

Maybe everything in this world that is truly good for us individually, or collectively for all of us, started somewhere first with one initial empty gesture.

I think tomorrow, I'm going to plan to be guilty of a few more empty gestures, until one at a time, each one becomes a reality for me, and for those I love.  Wish me well, friends!

LJ Idol | Season 6  Week 1 - Topic: EMPTY GESTURES
This post has been brought to you through an association with the online writing community forum, LJ Idol.
If you have enjoyed this entry, please feel free to speak your piece, share the love, and pass it on...

                                                                                                                                       ...and thanks for stopping by.



( 49 comments — Leave a comment )
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(Deleted comment)
Oct. 22nd, 2009 01:10 am (UTC)
Thanks... this was a tough one. Part of the reason I took so long getting it in was because I had a hard time coming up with some way to present the topic in a way that didn't seem to be complaining about any one particular issue or person. In truth, that's a fair amount of the reason I don't post more often in general, as I don't want to create a permanent record of negative energy. But how does one put a positive spin on something as seemingly adverse as Empty Gestures? I hope I did it justice, without doing too much preaching.
(no subject) - cacophonesque - Oct. 22nd, 2009 01:38 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - karmasoup - Oct. 22nd, 2009 03:42 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - impoetry - Oct. 22nd, 2009 07:43 pm (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 22nd, 2009 01:49 am (UTC)
This reminds me of when I first did my boyfriend's dishes because I wanted him to think I cared, and was a tidy person. He's old fashioned and I figured it would make me look good. Now, if the dishes go too many days without being done, i am truly bothered by it. I actually take pleasure in cleaning his house and making it look nice. A tidy environment does make me feel better, even though I know I'll never be a bed maker.
Oct. 22nd, 2009 03:26 am (UTC)
I used housekeeping as an example of a positive practice I'm out of, because it was something that is least likely to offend, and that most people can relate to, but the idea of creating good habits from starting with empty gestures I think can carry forward throughout many aspects of our lives. It's the fact that we think gestures might seem empty that I think sometimes stops us from doing things we'd be better off and more enriched for having done. We might find life could be more fulfilled in many ways if we choose to do it anyway.
Oct. 22nd, 2009 01:51 am (UTC)
I like that you found a positive take on this theme that lends itself so easily to negativity. Interesting and well-written!
Oct. 22nd, 2009 03:44 am (UTC)
Danke! It was a challenge. I'm glad it's meeting with approval.
Oct. 22nd, 2009 02:14 am (UTC)
Hmmmm. I like how a lot of people are writing about how no gesture is truly empty. This was certainly attention getting.
Oct. 22nd, 2009 04:51 am (UTC)
Everything is loaded with something... we just have to figure out what the value is, and apply it where it makes the most sense, or dismiss what doesn't matter.
Oct. 22nd, 2009 04:37 am (UTC)
Inspirational. Maybe I'll make my bed tomorrow.
Oct. 22nd, 2009 05:11 am (UTC)
If I'd known it was going to be so influential, I made have written about something more impacting than picking up, communicating, and a healthier diet, but, we all gotta start somewhere.
Oct. 22nd, 2009 03:38 pm (UTC)
This is a very interesting take on it and I love it! :)
Oct. 23rd, 2009 04:29 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I generally find myself just a touch outside the mainstream (not that directly in it is ever where I've wanted to be), and very glad it worked!
Oct. 22nd, 2009 04:04 pm (UTC)
I DO wish you well! I can't even begin to express how much peace and whole health little things like this have brought to my life. I am much happier when I neti and make the bed and select my clothes for the next day before going to bed each night. Great entry!
Oct. 22nd, 2009 10:33 pm (UTC)
Thank you... I'm okay out selecting my clothes for the next day... now if I could just into the habit of laying them aside, so I don't have to spend crazy minutes trying to figure out where the heck they are... well, though, I suppose that's a whole other ball to unravel...
Oct. 22nd, 2009 07:41 pm (UTC)
Lovely read. Thanks for sharing! I've actually been thinking of getting a netti pot, but I have a severe tendency to put things off. Finally I put it on my To Do list, so I'm getting to it eventually.
Oct. 22nd, 2009 08:35 pm (UTC)
Ah, yes, the proverbial "to-do" list... I think I have one around here somewhere... now, where did I put that thing? Hmmmm.... maybe making or finding it should have been the first item on it...
Oct. 22nd, 2009 07:45 pm (UTC)
Very well done and thought provoking! You know now that I think about it, with the topic at hand the idea of faking an orgasm seems like an obvious choice. I surprised it hadn't come up before.
Oct. 22nd, 2009 08:34 pm (UTC)
I'm not really sure I meant to indicate I intend to *fake* an orgasm, only that next time I might try seeing what else would be added by a little extra reaction of the lungs... just a theory...
(no subject) - impoetry - Oct. 22nd, 2009 08:36 pm (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 22nd, 2009 10:40 pm (UTC)
I confess, entries about moaning pretty much win my vote automatically. ;)
Oct. 22nd, 2009 10:53 pm (UTC)
I wrote it just with you in mind! ;*
(no subject) - joeymichaels - Oct. 22nd, 2009 10:58 pm (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 23rd, 2009 12:41 am (UTC)
From a tried and true moaner, I can say, let it out sister, you'll be glad you did!

As for the rest, I agree wholeheartedly about a tidy environment helping you keep your interior spaces organized too AND the Dalai Lama himself is a huge proponent of how it's all about the small gestures adding up to one impressive whole. If we could all be a little more polite, a little kinder and aware of who and what we are affecting...well, the world would be a gentler place.

I really enjoyed your spin on the topic :)
Oct. 23rd, 2009 02:20 am (UTC)
Oh, I'm not a moaner, I'm a screamer... I've been known to wake the dead in the next county. I've just never done it when there wasn't a cause for it. Hearing and feeling it come out of me with no sexual context made me realize that it may have its own value... like, maybe even if I wasn't feeling as inclined, a little extra intake of oxygen might make enough of a difference to push it the over the edge.

But, yes, the Dalai Lama and I are both all about the art of happiness, though, I would say that his version is a bit different than mine, still, I can relate to the simple pleasures of moments aspect, and do try to put that into practice whenever possible.

Glad I could give you a good spin. ;)
Oct. 23rd, 2009 04:38 pm (UTC)
i like this. reminds me of back in high school, working in retail stores and being paid to smile, ask people how they were doing and telling them to have a nice day. even when i obviously didn't mean it, after and hour or so of doing it, i eventually felt happier.

great take on the prompt.
Oct. 24th, 2009 06:37 am (UTC)
Yes, smiling is sort of infectious that way, and, luckily, contagious, too. Sometimes when I'm feeling out of sorts, and all alone, I'll start giggling. It's forced, at first, but, eventually, I feel kinda silly, and then, I start to sort of laugh at myself for being so silly, and, soon, I'm laughing at the sound of my own laughter, and eventually, whatever had me bundled all up in knots seems a little less relevant, and, I think, if I smoked, I might even need a cigarette. It's almost as good as a long soak in a hot tub, a back rub, or a blow job... almost.
Oct. 24th, 2009 12:49 am (UTC)
This was great! You have a great message here!
Oct. 24th, 2009 06:40 am (UTC)
Thank you! I'm glad it's being received as such. I made it about the things I'm learning because I didn't want to seem like I was wagging my finger at anyone else... I think I generally tend to be one who could stand to learn as many lessons as I can share, if not more.
Oct. 24th, 2009 02:33 am (UTC)
I like this idea of practice-building through repetition. It's something I strive for in my own life, which is too often unfocussed.

I have heard tell that deep breathing can improve the orgasmic experience. I'm still trying to remember this during the heat of the moment. Practice, practice, practice.

Thanks for tsharing this. It was entertaining and informative.
Oct. 26th, 2009 06:41 am (UTC)
Hmmmm.... yes, practice... we'll call it "research" and credit LJ Idol! GREAT Idea! Going to go "breathe" now...
Oct. 24th, 2009 05:05 am (UTC)
Very good points!

As to the roller coaster thing, a friend of mine believes that if you don't scream on the coaster, the orgasms will be better. I'm just saying. ;)
Oct. 24th, 2009 06:33 am (UTC)
Ironically, roller coasters have always been one place I never scream... I'm usually too busy grinning from ear to ear, giggling, and letting the motion of the rickety contraption jostle me from side to side. But, I think I'm in the minority there. Ah, I do love them, though.
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