Aloha, combustion junkies & other assorted cheeky monkeys!
It’s that special time of year again, as many of you may know, when there’s a natal anniversary for practically half the folks we all love the most.
Yes, there's no denying it, we Aries ARE Masters of the Universe...
Cope. (Trust us, life will be so much easier for you mere mortals once you just accept that we're always right.)
Spring has sprung, recoiled and snapped again (though it may yet take a good hard spanking to get it to pounce), the hobbits have dusted off their snow-sodden feet, the hippies have suckled at the breast of mother earth (whose milk we were only too happy to sour just enough to incapacitate them all into a drunken stupor – after all, who needs them underfoot, anyway?)…
…and there is a rumbling of giants at the core of a darker nature.
Yes, the FIRE GODS have awakened.
The time has come for ritual sacrifice.
The moment is here. The hour is now...
It’s time to CELEBRATE!!!
Now that a few months have passed us over since our latest shindig (it only took a dozen moons or so for the full effects of the last one to wear off), we've finally caught our breath (those quick little buggers can really fly when they’re that oil-slicked), gathered our heads (collecting all those missing bolts was an arduous task), and we are ready once again for another round.
Join us, and surrender your dignity to the volcanic mountain! (Yes, of course, we know there's no erupting islands in any of our 10,000 lakes, but, if we know our pyromanic clan –and you can rest assured that we do, at least, a little bit, anyway, or we pretend to, at any rate, for the ease and convenience of proper social graces– you just never know what might show up on our patio this crazy night!)
Our annual Minnetonka back yard bash is fastly approaching (some might even say upcoming, or perhaps coming up, maybe even in some cases coming out, but, then – aren't we always?), which, of course, begs the question... can we really fit 400 of you nutjobs onto our terrace? One of these years if more than half try it all at once, perhaps you may yet actually push us to the limits, but so far only slightly better than 150 have tested the theory… and there’s still plenty room for more. So, until we get close to pushing the limits, we'll just keep upping the ante. (And, hey, if push comes to shove and we need to fold a few of you in half, don’t worry, we know how to make that happen.)
If you haven't already got your invitation, or if for some reason you’re not cool enough to have already been to our house, learn to practice ZEN NAVIGATION. (Go to the area and follow folks who look like they know where they're going.)
Bring your blacks & blues, your reds & golds, your licking flames (not to mention your flaming licks), your hula skirts and coconuts, or, hey, if it’s your birthday, just come in your birthday suit.
For a snapshot of what to expect from this crazy mix-matched cross-bred gaggle of our eclectic, rowdy folks...
LOTS of us are:
Ø Intellectual (if you had to look that word up, trust us, this group is not NOT for you.
We have a hefty population of MENSA members, NASA employees, and all the hubris and arrogance you would expect from both.)
Ø Liberal-ish (don't get all excited and start picking at that one with a fine-tooth comb...
we're not treehuggers or lefists... we're just not likely to tell anyone else how they should be living)
Ø Geeky-lite (all right, some are a little more hardcore than others)
Ø Non-smokers / Responsible drinkers (Wearing a T-shirt that says, "In Dog Beers, I've Only Had One" is responsible advertising, right?)
Ø NOT for the faint-of-heart or socially repressed (ask any one of us to prove it at your own risk)
Ø Tasty (though, some might argue, that's perhaps a matter of taste)
At least a FEW of us are:
Ø Gypsies & tramps (the thieves had to stay home... they have to get up early for a court date in the morning)
Ø Bawdy, obnoxious, & generally downright crude (BUT, we do clean up good in public – it's in private that we get really dirty)
Ø Of sound mind & judgment (MOST of the night... but we'll promise to play nice... MOST of the night)
and ONE or TWO of us are:
Ø Really NERDS masquerading in disguise as geeks (Okay. You're right. It's the whole frakken lot of us. Shaddup. You know you still want to hang with us.)
Ø Out to get you (Don't say we didn't warn you)
Ø Likely to test the theory of gravity at some point in the event
Ø Being auctioned off to the highest bidder
Ø T - R - O - U - B - L - E (Last year, a Mythbusters enthusiast took upon himself the labor of reenacting the infamous flaming flatus demonstration)
Some things there WILL be:
Ø Burning meat and veggies (and wood and old furniture and exploding bottles, and, hey, just what else can we throw in that thing, anyway?)
Ø Plenty of other stuff to intoxi-*hic!, inebri-*hic!, oh, you know... imbibe (That is to say, not just a few alcoholic beverages, or just a few alcoholics, for that matter)
Ø Fire spinning
Ø Contact Juggling
Ø Stupid human tricks
Ø Slightly drunk feats of magic (Naturally, that is likely to become sodden attempts at parlor tricks as the night wears on)
Ø Really bad jokes and mind-numbing puns (As in, if you have any sense of what is considered poor taste,
set your reception meter to classless, generally sad humor all around,
not to mention some along the realms of the dark & twisted, and even macabre)
Ø Lots & LOTS of SHAMELESS flirting (Watch out for the Manic Vampyre.... yes, he DOES Bite!)
Some things there MAY be:
Ø Clever banter (This is a matter of perspective, of course, or, possibly, simply a matter of time –
Arrive early for lighthearted, easygoing exchange, stick around longer for inane babble,
or stay the night for incoherent gibberish – we're sure to have any flavor, whatever your pleasure)
Ø Tall tales (Mostly from short people)
Ø Stupid pet tricks (Depends on how cooperative the 2 macaws feel around that much company, but you can assume
the 4 cats will hide, the 250 pounds of dogs will be attempting to make new friends with anyone offering belly rubs or food,
that if you have allergies, you will go home feeling a bit like a pufferfish,
and if you have phobias, you should probably sit this one out)
Ø Pink Elephants on Parade
Ø Acoustic guitar jam (The strings & finger cymbals come out when it gets too late for the drums)
Some things there SHOULD be:
Ø Belly dancing (Ever wondered what parts jiggle best in a corset?)
Ø Drum jam & dijeridu (We're in a fairly secluded area, but not always quite secluded enough...
apparently, more than a dozen doumbeks, djembes, tablas and bongos
CAN be heard more then two miles away even WITH the windows rolled up –
Much as MPD hated to inform us!)
Ø Special moments we won't talk about or plan for before, but are sure to greatly embellish later
As we're both born & raised in the South, we can relate to the social conditioning that you can't enter a home empty-handed, so, feel free to bring something to share. (Items listed are some suggestions if you need help coming up with ideas, but certainly not requirements.)
What to bring:
Ø Something to Burn (Nothing that will have the black helicopters circling our house in the morning)
Ø Something to Eat (Most any stage of prep works, but if you need the kitchen,
you should probably be a pygmie, and everyone knows that offerings of incendiary food on this night
are the quickest and easiest way to placate the dieties of the blaze)
Ø Something to Drink (Anything you can't live without)
Ø Something to Sit on (Objects along the lines of lawn chairs, stools, and beanbags are generally preferable to each other,
but, if you find a willing participant, we certainly wouldn’t hold it against you.
Of course, doesn’t that bring up a completely different set of complications with the concept that
if you move your feet, you lose your seat? Well… you work it out amongst yourselves, we won't judge.)
Ø Something to Play (Or, if you're so inclined, something to play with – or perhaps even someone)
Can You Take The Heat?
q Holy crap! I just yanked my arm out of its socket trying to get you to pick me first! OMG, what the heck am I gonna wear???
q Are you kidding? I’m still hungover from last year. But, I DID just buy a new staff I’ve been dying to check out... aw, heck, you know me, I’m a lifer. Still got that spare room? I'll be there til Tuesday.
q Oh, darnit I’m totally not sure yet, Buffy... how many COOL kids are going to be there?
q Shucks! I’d love to, but I’m going to be stuck under a rock that night!
q You people frighten me! I'm going to back slowly out of the room, and pretend this never happened.
We'll check our egos, religion & politics at the door, let our hair down, shed our inhibitions, entertain each other, and just enjoy one another, until the wee hours the next evolutiuon when it's time for us to kick all your lazy asses out and send you back to your own homes. I mean, really, people, get a life already, will ya?
See ya next year...
same time, same place...
we'll keep the embers glowing.
LJ Idol | Season 8 • Week 24 - Topic: IN YOUR WHEELHOUSE
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