A Karmic Sandbox (karmasoup) wrote,
A Karmic Sandbox
karmasoup

The Same Thing We Do Every Night...

THE PITCH

Is your goal in life to destroy the world?
Take over the planet?
Eliminate all humans with a cleft pallet
because you believe they are Emissaries for the Devil?


Yes of course it is!  And we can help!


Let’s face it… Image is Everything!

It doesn’t matter what type of Doomsday Dominator you are...


You might consider:


• Evil Genius   Evil Genius

Benevolent Dictator
  
Benevolent Dictator

• Dark Overlord           Dark Overlord

Apocalypse• Bringer of the Apocalypse

...among others, for example.

Whatever your stylized flavor of Doomsday Domination,
Let us help you get your message out in a way that makes sense.
Because really, what fun is destroying the world if no one knows why???



Get your own World Broadcast System

We know you have choices in your Domination plan suppliers.

When you let us help you, first we set you up with your own Doomsday Domination website with its own custom blog, so you can rant in text or on video about your arch nemesis, or the follies of letting toe lint go unpainted.  We give you the convenience of updating your blog yourself, from any remote connection with internet access, be it a secret jungle base, or your own private island with a satellite uplink.                       

                            Global Communications


Spread your Blog Like a Retro Virus

Next, we help you advertise your newly developed blog through a series of press releases, an adwords campaign, and our advanced SEO Process generated by our plutonium powered SEO machine.

Because, what good is ranting on a blog if no one sees it?

            
Henchblog


Devastate the Global Population with our Powerful Social Media Tools

Then we help you focus on your social media, we show you how to set up your Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, YouTube, google plus and LinkedIn accounts for maximum potential while linking them back to your Doomsday Domination Blog.
                           Planetary Network Takeover


Keep your future subjects in the Loop on your Plans so they can Worship your Genius!

We even will help you set up your End of the World e-newsletter where you can count down to the exact moment when all the world’s leaders will bow down to you and tell everyone on your newsletter how you are going to make that happen.  Don’t worry, telling them your plans won’t help them foil you, you are unstoppable!

Mad Scientist


Dominate from anywhere with Mobile Apps!

As a special bonus, we can also help you build the mobile apps you need to help your world domination, whether it be a remote death ray aiming app, or a viral maniacal laughter spreading app.

                                World of Social Media

Recruit Henchmen and Minions!

And don’t forget, you can’t take over the world without henchmen and minions.
Let us help you build recruiting pages to grow your armies!

                                                      

Henchmen lights


Our Guarantee:

Once you rule the world, if you feel that our systems were not instrumental in helping you get there, let us be first in line to be executed.  That’s right, shoot us first…

We insist!  Because we know you just won’t get there without us, we can be certain that once you do, you will love us for helping you TAKE OVER THE WORLD!

But, of course, even if you are 100% satisfied with our service, naturally, we understand you can't very well leave witnesses amongst those who knew you from the time before you became the Supreme Ruler, so, after you've taken out your enemies, let our final act of usefulness be to schedule our own execution! Let us be the first on the chopping block to help set the tone for your majestic reign, and allow us to set the event to take place in the most public manner possible, for everyone to see, so that the message will be clear to all. After all, if you'd do that to the folks who helped you on the way up, no one will ever question what you might do to those who don't fear you!

So feel free to enjoy you rise to power with our personal pledge and promise that no matter what the outcome, throughout the process, and even unto the end, we shall be eternally at your disposal. Literally.

                                 Stewie Likes You

Want more Doomsday Domination? Be sure to check out our ABOUT US page, and don’t forget to review our TESTIMONIALS from eager clients bent on global destruction. Just remember, when it comes to the Ultimate New Earthly Master, we understand there can be only one.  But, until that time, hey... it's anybody's game getting there.



LJ Idol | Season 9 • Week 12 - Topic: BARREL OF (FLYING) MONKEYS
This post has been brought to you by an association with the online writing community forum, LJ IDOL
If you have enjoyed this entry, please feel free to speak your piece, share the love, and pass it on...
                                         ...and thanks for stopping by.

Tags: corporate, doomsday domination, fiction, humor, lj idol, lji9, satire, technical writing, work product
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    RIGHT HAND MAN Any memories from more than a couple decades ago would naturally seem like another world from now — even if our…

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