Hi there! Hi!
Heya! Hey there!
Yo Ho! Hello!
How are you? Hiya!
My name is Chloe.
You smell nice.
Did you bring me a ball?
I’ve been around for about 1½ years so far, which means by now I’ve already grown about as big as I’m going to get, probably. But emotionally, I’m still just a little puppy at heart.
I’ve had a bit of a rough road in my short life up until my foster folks took me in, so I’m ready to settle down with a loving family who will take good care of me from now on.
You brought me a ball, right?
Of course, I bet I could stand to fill out another few pounds around the middle.
I’m sure treats would take care of that . . . Yep, plenty of treats should do the trick.
I like treats. I’m even willing to work for them.
I’ll Sit, I’ll Shake, give you a High Paw . . . I bet you could even teach me a few more.
I like to learn new tricks . . . it’s easy for me, and, I’m good at it.
(Especially if there’s a BALL involved!)
Say, is that a ball you’ve got there in your pocket?
Mind if I check your pockets, real quick?
Oh, sorry, pardon my cold nose.
I really love the game of Fetch, too, because I love to run, and I love to get the ball . . .
I can’t always guarantee I’ll give it back, though! (It’s MY Ball!)
I’ve been around other dogs at my foster family’s house . . . they’re all right, I guess, as long as they’re nice. They’re good for chasing after and being chased by.
Do you have a big back yard where I can run, like, a lot? I like to run. A lot.
Especially if you have a ball!
You DO have a ball, right?
Cats are okay, too, I suppose. They’re kinda boring, though. They don’t do much. I try to chase them, but they just hide. Sometimes they smack me, too. That’s totally not cool! Cats aren’t that much fun.
Not like my ball! My ball is TONS of fun!
I guess I really don’t care whether or not I play with the other animals . . . I can take it or leave it, I suppose. I don’t mind other animals, but they don’t make much difference to me one way or another. I’d be happy to join you in a home with other pets.
I’d be just as delighted, though, if you happen to be the pet-monogamous type — that’d for sure be all right by me, too . . . all the more attention, just for me! I can take it, I promise!
Just give me a ball, and life is good.
Just give me the ball, and no one gets hurt!
My ball keeps me busy for hours. Well, maybe not hours. Wait, how long is an hour, anyway? Sometimes, it doesn’t entertain me anymore. Sometime I wonder if my ball still likes me when it stops playing nice with me. Cause, after a while, it starts to bounce less, and doesn’t roll as well . . . it’s hard to play with it when it’s all chewed up and misshapen like that, and has all this slobbery wet stuff all over it . . . where did that come from?
Say, do you happen to have another ball? This one seems to be kinda broken . . . it’s sorta shaped funny, now . . . I don’t remember it being this flat, before, or having this many holes in it. And, wait, just how many pieces of a ball are there supposed to be, again, anyway?
I’m usually not much for chewing anything I’m not supposed to, but . . .
Oh, give me a ball, and, well, I just can’t resist . . . they’re so —
Hey, a BALL!
What can I say? I’m only canine!
I won’t get the chance to be a mom myself, but I have a natural mama-ness for the littler two-legged critters . . . they’re really nice to me, and fun. They tug on my ears, and tail, and give me lots of hugs . . . I follow them around to keep an eye on them to make sure they’re okay. I like to cuddle up with them and sleep on their feet to keep them safe at night.
Everyone in my house should be safe. I make sure to say so to anyone who goes by. I tell them pretty loudly, just in case they don’t listen well, so they get that message right away. Sometimes you two-leggers need to be told a few times. But that’s okay, I don’t mind repeating myself.
Other than that, though, I’m usually pretty low-key and really mellow for a Boxer.
Lots of commotion can happen around me, and most of the time, I just keep to myself, chewing my rawhide bone, and ignoring all of it. It usually doesn’t have anything to do with me, doesn’t change anything about my world any, and I’ve found it usually goes away on its own more often than not.
I know I’m the low dog in the pack. I’m okay with that. I like it there. No worries, no hassles. Just me and my ball, room to run, plenty of water, and lots of attention. That’s all I need, really.
And, also, I’m really good at curling up close to make you warm. I’m a regular Boxer blanket, sort of a biological boiler. But, sometimes it takes me a while to settle in . . . I figure if I stand over you, you’ll have more opportunities to pet me.
So, I’m just gonna stand on you now, okay? Then you’ll have to pet me.
Go ahead. Pet me. I’ll wait.
You’re not petting me.
Oh, what, I’m supposed to lay down?
Oh, okay, fine, be that way.
Guess I’ll just lay down here. On your feet.
Occasionally, too, I hang out in my box. I’ve got a pretty good idea when that is . . . you’ve got your keys in your hand, putting your coat on, I get it. But, if I happen to be playing with my ball, I might not notice, so, then you can just tell me, and I’ll go nicely. Let me just grab my ball, quick, though, first.
I’ll just stay here and hang out with my ball to keep me company. As long as I have my ball, I’m fine.
If I can’t get to my ball, I has a sad.
Also, I should tell you some of the rules.
It’s important that you understand a few basic principles.
Here’s how this stuff works. I will sometimes bring you a ball. Now, remember, this is MY Ball. They’re ALL mine. Even if they’re not mine, they’re still mine. If it’s shaped like a ball, rolls like a ball, then it’s MINE. So, if I should see fit to bring YOU a ball, then YOU’RE supposed to use it to play with ME . . . that’s YOUR job. I’ll give it to you, then sit down and wait. You should toss it up for me to catch it.
If you don’t, I will paw at you until you do. I will keep pawing at you until you do. I’m very patient that way. I don’t have anything else to do, and you don’t seem that busy. Playing with a ball always makes me happy. Here, I’ll share. You can play with the ball with me, then you’ll be as happy as me. We can be happy together. You, me, and my ball. As long as you understand, it’s MY ball. Then you can play, too.
Okay, there’s the ball.
There, in your lap. Right there, by my nose.
See that? This, here, where my paw is, this ball. Yes, that one.
No, don’t pet my head right now. Throw the ball!
This one. This. No, not on the floor!
There, I'll put it back in your lap for you. Right there.
Right there. There.
I’m very patient. I can do this all day.
Did I mention that? It’s okay, I’m not that busy.
I can keep pawing you. Then you’ll see the ball.
That one. Right there.
Sometimes, I will bring you a bigger item, something longer. Now, this time, you’ll take that, and hold it. I’ll hang onto the other end, and you pull. Now, I’ll pull, and shake, but don’t let go. That’s how it works. This will be good for a while until I get bored, and then —
Hey, did someone say Ball?
I like attention.
Rub my belly, stroke my ears, bat at my cheeks, pull on my jowels . . . it’s all good.
I know I look bigger than I really am . . . I know I’m not that large, really. I’m sure I can easily fit in your lap.
You’ll come to realize this too, I promise. Just be still, you’ll be fine.
Don’t struggle so much, you make a lumpy pillow that way.
You can just pat me on the back, and tolerate my snoring like a lumberjack. You’re okay.
And, oh, yeah, sorry about that puddle of water on the floor by my drinking dish.
Hey, YOU try lapping out of a bowl this little with a wet sponge this big always lolling over your gums. My tongue will fit into my head ONE of these days, eventually, I think. I’m sure I’ll grow into it it, soon . . . Besides, there are so many uses for it . . . but best of all, all the better to lick you with!
. . . And lick, and lick,
and lick, and lick, and lick,
and lick, and lick, and . . .
HEY! LETH – NKOE – OTH – NY – DHUNG!
(Bleah! — HUMAN germs! Yuck! How do I know where those fingers have been???)
So, anyway, as long as you understand how to give me what I need . . .
(Wait, where’s my Ball???!!)
. . . then I’m sure everything will work out just fine.
I rumble like a furnace when I’m sleepy, grunt like a pig when I’m content
(What, you wanted me to purr? What do you take me for?? Who do you think I am???)
. . . and I know how to use these big watery brown eyes of mine. You should just admit defeat right now. You have no power greater than the puppy dog eyes.
Basically, I’m just a fuzzy, fun-loving, casual creampuff. You know you can’t resist me!
And, I promise I can be your best friend . . .
So Whadya say?
Take me HOME, Please???
LJ Idol | Season 9 • Week 23 - Topic: THE FICTION OF THE FIX
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