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Transcript from a conversation this afternoon between myself (Me)

and some 

Random Strange *G*uy  on the Internet from *O*ut  *O*f  *N*owhere (GOON):


GOON: hello

Me: Do I know you?

GOON: nope my name is john i just saw you where online

Me: Where did you find me?

GOON: yahoo members

Me: What did you go looking for?

GOON: nothing realy i just looking to chat

Me: I mean, what was your criteria? You had to have done some sort of keyword search that led you to me.

GOON: it was female in mn, then i hit the box that said onlin

Me: Okay. Why were you looking in MN? Your profile says you live in WI?

GOON: sorry for bugging you. i live in western wi close to stillwater mn

Me: Okay. I used to hang out in Stillwater from time to time when I lived in Cottage Grove. Don't get over that way much these days, though.

GOON: cool. sorry to hear that

Me: Do you do a lot of random chatting with strangers?

GOON: sometime depending on how much time i have

Me: How does that usually work out for you?

GOON: No. Some time i meet real nice people.

Me: Do you mind if I give you a couple helpful tips?

GOON: sure

Me: Imagine that you're sitting at home, and the doorbell or the phone rings. You answer it, and a woman you don't know says,


GOON: ok

Me: You blink and stare blankly for a minute, and then ask,

“Can I help you?” and she says,

“I just thought I'd check to see if you were home... want to talk?”

Now, wouldn't your first thought be,

“Um, who the hell are you?”

GOON: yeh
GOON: sorry about that

Me: Okay, so, now imagine the same scenario, except, you're sitting at home alone, and, the phone or doorbell rings, and a woman you don't know says,

“Hi, my name is Jenny. You don't know me, but, I found out about you through " (fill in the blank) ", and I thought we might enjoy talking because we have " (fill in the blank) " in common.”

Now, would you react to that better?

GOON: yeh

Me: Well, that might be a better approach for you from now on, then.

GOON: ok

Me: You’d need to customize it to your specifics, of course... something like,

“Hi, my name is Mike, you don't know me, but, I did a search for women online in MN, because I live close to the border, and have a lot of time to kill on the road, and thought maybe I'd strike up a conversation with new folks I might have the potential to grab a coffee with someday when I'm bored on a trucking layover.

Would you care to chat?”

I’m surmising a lot of that, of course, based on the “bigrig” in your handle, since your profile is virtually blank and tells me nothing else about you other than you're married and into Nascar, but I’m sure you know what the correct details are, and could make appropriate adjustments as necessary. What do you think of that?

Me: Hello?


I do find it fairly unfortunate that he didn't take the opportunity to learn from this experience, maybe even train a few friends, so that maybe I wouldn't have to put up with this on an almost daily basis... and here I thought I was being patient and polite, and even teaching a man to fish instead of giving him one... oh, well... guess he only wanted canned tuna.  

Really, though, why DO men (or any folks, for that matter) think it's okay to do things on the internet they wouldn't dream of trying to get away with in person?  I suppose that's just the unfortunate effect anonymity has had on social graces... if your mama's not there to smack you, well...


...some people's kids, I swear.  What IS our culture coming to?



( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
Nov. 29th, 2007 09:28 pm (UTC)
"Well, ya know, I just don't wanna put that much work into it. Used ta be that in the CB days, when we were lookin' for a little seatcover action, all we had to do was pick up the mike and yap. Now we gotta do this online chat thing, and trust me, that's hell when yer on the road driving."

Except with less words.
Dec. 19th, 2007 11:50 am (UTC)
"I do find it fairly unfortunate that he didn't take the opportunity to learn from this experience, maybe even train a few friends, so that maybe I wouldn't have to put up with this on an almost daily basis"

This is one thing that eternally astonishes me: how much random pick-up attempts women have to put up with. I'm not sure most guys comprehend it.
Jul. 1st, 2008 05:57 pm (UTC)
This is why you're Awesome! :) hehe...
Oct. 17th, 2009 12:00 am (UTC)
*dies* found out that you friended me, and I'm friending you back because of this post. Deliciously hilarious.
Oct. 29th, 2009 11:46 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Nice to have my older stuff appreciated by my new friends!
Nov. 10th, 2009 12:11 am (UTC)
lol! I love that you took him to charm school. That. Is. Awesome. And etiquette is very important. :)
Nov. 10th, 2009 01:45 am (UTC)
Thanks... I do try to be polite... sometimes the effort is wasted, though. *Sigh*
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )